“… did you ever think that maybe if you’re not happy, it’s because of you?”

Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers - 4th of July (Click for downloadable audio to hear track)

This lyric, and this song, have a way of recurring in my head every time I get frustrated, with life, but more with myself. The line comes from Stephen, who wrote this song extremely autobiographically, and here is talking to us about his struggles with making it in the music industry, and specifically about dealing with the frustration therein, and within life as a whole. His message, in the song, and especially in this line, is fairly uncomplicated. Own up to your choices, and your struggles, and the totality of your life - YOUR LIFE -  and then go forward acknowledging all of it - the good, the bad, the success, and especially the failures. YOUR failures.

Those of my very closest friends, the ones who truly know me inside and out, have been hearing me b**ch a lot lately- way too much, admittedly - about how miserable I am, about certain realities in my life. I’ve already apologized individually to them for the torture of my incessant misery, but this a public mea culpa. Stephen’s words ring truer and truer to me by the day. I’m 30 years old. I’m my own man. I’ve committed to my own path in my life. I need to take responsibility for my lack of accomplishment, even more than I need to bask in the good that I do. The burden of responsibility in my life is on no one but me. My friends, and anyone else reading this, you are all part of my world. But it is not on you all to pat me on the back, or encourage me, or push me along - and certainly not your job to hear me whine about how things aren’t working out. That is solely mine and mine alone.

If I am not happy, (which needs to not be the case as frequently as it has been lately), it is indeed because of me, and me alone. No man is an island, and nothing I do can be accomplished without others to support me and be there in my life. But for me to truly be great, at my chosen craft, and life in general - I need to be happy - with myself, by myself, for myself - and for no one else. The minute that thought becomes reality is the minute great things will happen.

(This entry is the first of it’s kind titled as such - I used to call them “Lyric of the Day”, but that was ill fated. My words, like any art, should come when appropriate, and not forced on a schedule. While I hope to post more frequently going forward than I have recently, there is no more clock on my postings. My life shall unfold how it does, and I hope you all continue to experience it with me, via my lyrical musings, be they daily, twice daily, weekly, or as infrequently as I share them with you.

If you, my dear readers, would be so kind as to let me know you’re out there, it would be of great help. Every person who puts themselves out in the world - via written word, music, other creative art, or anything else they  offer of themselves in to the public realm - seeks reassurance and confirmation that their work is being noted and appreciated. I’d rather hear negative feedback than none at all. I’m sure many of you can relate. The comments only go public if you want them to. Let me know when you leave your thoughts, if you prefer them to stay between us. But I have heard from many of you that you noted my absence on here. I won’t publicize my return. Let’s see who notices…)