“If you want to be somebody else, if you’re tired of losing battles with yourself, if you want to be somebody else, change your mind, change your mind.”

Sister Hazel - “Change Your Mind” from the album “Fortress”

So after I went and wrote a post about not taking another break from posting, I proceeded to do just that, letting this exact post marinate in my head since Tuesday. Each night I’d get home late and swear to put this up, but then I’d get busy with dinner or work or nonsense, and pass out before putting it up. Epic fail, Sam. This writing thing, even with encouragement and positive results (the Central Park Conservancy using my essay, for one) is so easy to do in theory, and yet so so so hard in reality. Every artist and creative type out there, be it visual, verbal, musical, or written knows exactly what I mean, I hope.

Ken Block, the lead singer and writer of this song, introduces it in concert almost the same way every time: “This is a song about perspective. It’s not your life, it’s how you choose to LOOK at your life.” I’m not sure I can add much more regarding the lyric itself. I’ve been up and down all week, buoyed by some great things currently going on in my life, and some major upcoming events are keeping me upbeat. But despite some positive momentum, I feel like I’m still dragging. Perhaps I’m expecting more of myself, and struggling to reach my new level of goals. Perhaps I know that achievement itself is not something to rest on, but rather needs to be used as a springboard to more, and this stresses me. Maybe I just know I can be doing more, and that frustrates me. Any way you slice it, I’m tired of losing battles with myself, and need to heed Ken’s words. Hopefully you don’t need this encouragement like I do lately. But it’s there if you do….

“I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never going to keep me down… We’ll be singing, when we’re winning we’ll be singing… I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never going to keep me down.”

Chumbawumba - “Tubthumping (I Get Knocked Down)” - from the album “Tubthumper”

The following is by no means an excuse, but rather an explanation. I got derailed by some technology issues last week, then allowed my brief hiatus of not posting to snowball for much longer than I am happy with. No apology will suffice, so this is merely explanation. Again - no excuses. So for all the people who actually read this page regularly (and many of you have told me as such - Ashley L, Michael I, Abby W, Martin R, Sarah V, Mike L, to name a few - you know who you are), I do apologize. I’ve been lucky enough to have you care and read my thoughts on life via music thus far, and I didn’t deliver. This will hopefully not happen again .

So this song occurred to me, not for it’s depth, or its ridiculously catchy nature, but rather for its blatantly on point refrain. The words say exactly how I feel, about life, and - right now specifically - about my desire to make this site something amazing. The posts thus far have been quite regular, and I liked the feeling of posting daily. I fell off the horse last week, but this post marks my getting back in the saddle. As the line says, and I now offer this publicly as a reminder to myself - “No, you’re never gonna keep me down”. The lesson, of course, is this: Be it your own doing, or life in general, things you control, or otherwise - never stop getting back up and fighting on. It’s that easy… believe it, do it, done.

“Let your soul shine, it’s better than sunshine, it’s better than moonshine, damn sure better than rain; Lord now people don’t mind, we all get this way sometimes, gotta let your soul shine, shine till the break of day.”

Allman Brothers Band - “Soulshine” from the album “Where It All Begins”

This is a quick bonus post, because this song is just too gorgeous not to share, and I just heard it this afternoon. On my last long run before the Marathon in two weeks, I hit shuffle on my iPod, and attacked Central Park, the cause I’m raising money for this year. Surrounded by NYC’s backyard, this incomparably gorgeous landscape, this haven of mine, this song popped on. The version I have is a cover by Phil Lesh and Friends from 10 years ago, and is so beautifully done - drawn out and melodic and soulful, over 9 minutes of mellow joy and beauty. I don’t feel the need to offer a message or meaning - this chorus is one that speaks for itself, quite loudly. Dig the song up, and relax, and let it flow over you. And let your soul shine….

“Say everything you’ve always wanted, be not afraid of you really are, cause in the end we’ve got each other, and that’s at least one thing worth living for…”

Chad Vaccarino/Ian Axel - “This is the New Year” unreleased

Before I worked last night, I had the pleasure of hearing Chad play a set. Chad writes with Ian Axel, who I introduced to you last night. Chad also writes and plays with Mike Campbell, another musician who was a joy to watch play and emote on stage. Chad and Mike had this fascinating physical interplay, and I will tell you all about what body language adds to music, to me at least, another time. Suffice it to say, artists can say so much more than just theirs words do, by energy and emotion and physicality on stage.

So this song, which Ian and Chad did together - was one of the most powerful of the night. It feels to me as if these two mean this song both outwardly, and in. The raw passion with which they offer up these lyrics, and themselves in the process, shook me. It is about acceptance of self, and confidence, and hope, and love between friends. It is about trusting your talent, and your thoughts, and your life. Knowing Ian and Chad personally, this song haunts me in it’s beauty, and it inspires me with it’s sheer vulnerability. I wish I had a recording to share with you.. it would change your week.

“Take your headphones off little girl, listen to the sounds of the world, put your heart in to it, it’s all intuitive; paint a picture black and white, write a book about the meaning of life, you got to use what you’ve been given to change the world you’re living in.”

Ian Axel - “Afterglow” from the album “Im On To You”

I wish I could recall the exact number of times I played this song after acquiring this EP in July. It was dozens - literally dozens of times - on repeat, hours in a row, for the better part of a week. This lyric reminds me why I love life. I’ve been down lately, and today kind of sucked. But as it winds down, some positive edges to the forefront. Spending a few minutes talking about life and music with this song’s creator this afternoon certainly helps that reality.

This song, and the EP it’s from, is uplifting and beautifully honest music, that speaks to the heart, and touches your soul. A large part of the positivity this song fills me with - and that I am currently drawing from - comes from an email I received late last night, regarding this site, and it’s impact on fellow music lovers. The email was from one fan in particular, but the message was crystal clear. It made me think that this was “what I’ve been given” - my love of music, and how I am able to relate it to the world I live in, and hopefully, you all relate to that. If you do, I’ve used it “to change the world I’m living in”. The email, the chat with Ian, the realization that life is pretty damn good overall, despite out of my control setbacks and other nonsense, makes me content again, happy even.

I’m walking out my door now to hear friends of mine sing songs, which they hope will make me smile, and laugh, and think, and sing along - they sing in the hopes that my world will be better, will be altered, will be happier, by their creations and sounds. I get paid to be part of this world. My efforts help drive theirs forward, and this is beyond comprehension, in a good way. It is beautiful, and for this, I must simply sit back, and bask in the Afterglow… Everyone be quiet for a minute, and just listen to the music in your head, and in your heart. Then go do something with that energy. It’s that easy…

“… you read 429 books about a better world, but you wake up early, and you still don’t know what they mean… It took 23 years just to get this stupid, wondering when will I get wise…”

dog’s eye view - “The Prince’s Favorite Son” from the album  “Happy Nowhere”

From the nostalgia collection, this song has been a longtime favorite of mine. In the mid 90’s, this band had a Top 40 radio hit you may recall called “Everything Falls Apart”. I have always found a number of songs on this album quite powerful. (The lead singer and lyricist, Peter Stuart, is still playing, solo now, and his current stuff speaks to me as well.) This one hit me late today, when I was stumbling for a topic to post on today. Then I heard these lines, and it made sense.

I spent time with my family at dinner, for my grandfathers birthday later this week, and a belated celebration for mine. Sitting with my cousins and siblings, catching up on our lives and jobs and such, it made me realize that there are no answers. Our parents do their best showing us the way, and then we continue on, doing our best to figure it out on our own, leaning back on their guidance… and then life happens. We try our damnedest to find a happy medium between making ourselves content, and our families proud.  That’s all we can do. Keep reading the books, keep getting better, keep learning and striving and struggling… and then cross your fingers that wisdom finds you eventually. And… for your grandparents sake - get married and have kids soon. It’s really all they want from you….

“Figure out what you wanna do, then do it, that’s all there is to it”

Josh Dion - “Do It” from the soon to be released Josh Dion EP

I’m heading out to Josh’s show in a few minutes, where I will have the unique honor of getting paid to capture his energy and talent onstage. I’m beyond excited to see and hear Josh and his current band inspire and rock the Bitter End for an hour or so. I’m also lucky, and feel blessed, to get to do this for a living. This song is one of his simplest and most beautiful. The message need not be expounded upon at all, as the lyric is powerful in it’s simplicity. From a musician who lives by this very credo, it is even more so. Done. Go live…

“I rent a room, and I fill the spaces, with  wood and places, to make it feel like home, but all I feel’s alone ; It might be a quarter life crisis, or just the stirring in my soul; Either way, I wonder sometimes, about the outcome, of a still verdictless life; Am I living it right?”

John Mayer - “Why Georgia” from the album “Room for Squares”

Yesterday was my first time going an entire day without posting on this site, and this is also my first relatively “down” post, mood wise - and those two facts sort of explain each other, I suppose. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately, although things aren’t “bad” per se, just a bit off where I think they should and could be. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe other things. I have a few ideas. But I’ve certainly not been chipper the last few days. I’ve pretty much only been happy during my runs, and while seeing live music. Luckily, I ran today, and am going to a show now. Yay.

So this song is from an album I come back to very frequently, and I could have used almost any line from this song, or even quoted it in it’s entirety. I’m not sure I need to explain much more why it’s been on my mind, given my earlier explanation of my mental state. But it just speaks to the scared, uncertain, second guessing, full of self doubt creature I am - and I think we all are somewhat - at 20, at 30, at 40 even… you never quite “know” you’ve figured it, and if you think you have, you’re probably just asking for a let down, when you become complacent and overconfident, like you’ve mastered life. Even on my best of days, I wonder if I’m “living it right”. The truth is, as we all know, there is no right or wrong. It is what it is. Just make the best decisions you can each day by itself, and hope for the best, short and long term. Doesn’t mean I’m any more confident or assured I’m not totally fouling it up on a daily basis…

“I’m so inspired, but you know how short lived inspiration can be; ’cause I’ll brag about my self improvement, which just ends up lost deep inside of me…”

Matt Nathanson - “Naked” from the album “Please”

This song hit me like a ton of bricks during my run today, and I felt like I’d never heard this line before. Sometimes you just never pay attention to a lyric, until it’s time for it to affect you. That time was clearly today. We all tell stories, and spin tales about our lives, to our family, to impress out friends, on dates and interviews, to ourselves even sometimes. They may not be lies or even exaggerations - but they are certainly told in a certain way, in a certain order or tone or from a certain angle. So even when it’s the truth we are talking about, it’s a sliver of the real truth we are sharing. And inspiration is certainly about moments and timing as well. Good can go bad so quickly it hurts to even try to figure out what happened or why. Here’s my idea, and if and when I manage to master it - life will be very good. Try this: Truly believe the adage that you’re never as good as your best, or as bad as your worst. Stop swinging up and down and riding every moment fully. Balance it all in the middle; stop lying to yourself to make it all rosy, and stop hating yourself , and being all gloomy. Just be honest, and let the good, and the bad, and everything in between, come out naturally and unfiltered. The rest will fall in to place beautifully from that point. As my run wound down, my shuffle wandered over to “Two Gunslingers” by Tom Petty, wherein there is a refrain chanted over and over, “I’m taking control of my life, I’m taking control of my life now, right now…” As I finished my run, the whole message came full circle. Just be who you are, period, and then work from right there. Embrace the whole of it all. And then, right after, “Sir Duke” by Stevie Wonder popped on…. Sometimes it all has a way of taking care of itself, as if my iPod had a story to tell me today. Life is good, indeed…

“It’s not your mind that you’ve been losing, but you’ve been losing anyway… “

Nick Howard - “Up and Down” from the album “Something to Talk About”

It’s not often that I have a lyric already in my head, and then a day sort of falls in to it’s meaning. One of those life imitating art imitating life things I guess. I went to see my friend Nick play locally last night, with a very close friend, and we both agreed that we love this line, and the way it fits so well, and so seamlessly, in to the song. The song is about owning up to your mistakes, and bouncing back, on your own, from them. Today was a FUBAR kind of day, where I got very little done, and a lot, all at once. I lost today’s battle in my ongoing war with technology, but struggled and muddled through long enough to complete the major task at hand, and kept myself mentally upright throughout. I definitely would have packed it in, two times over, at many points in my past, but that was then. Now, I’ll keep figuring it out, as slow as I need to… cause I get up when I fall down, as Nick closes out the refrain of the song. Life, art… art, life….